15/4/2022
I couldn't force myself to feel what I want to feel . There weren't any choices to what I should be feeling . Right now I am feeling a little bit down . I don't know the reason why I felt this way . I have got to sit in my dad's office for long hours at the reception area . I feel so tired because of me lacking sleep . I couldn't sleep yesterday . It was horrible . My lacking of sleep makes me feel more worse than ever . I felt irritated and tired . The worst thing is my mental health state . I felt like breaking down and cry but I just couldn't do it . I also felt like resting in a hospital cause I know I will have a good rest there . However , I can't let myself think about it. I can't bring myself to that position again . I am done with myself. I am so done . I just want to end my life . I am done thinking and I am done with my life . I hate myself .