Broken

I am broken and down from time to time. I kept telling people that I am fine but I was not fine .I lied to them because I did not want to burden them nor I want them to worry about me. However deep inside of me I am hurting a lot. I just could not have the courage to tell them about how I am feeling. 

I have been battling with this for a long time now. I wished I could enjoy life as before. Life back then was very fine and lovely. I missed that experience a lot. If only I can turn back time....

However life must go on even though I much hated myself now. I do not know how to love myself. There are many ways to love myself but I just could not do it . I kept pondering . " What is wrong with me?"  I kept asking myself . As I kept wondering, I thought to myself that I could not do this anymore. " I want to end my life " I said to myself . 

In my haste, I quickly round up all the pills I could find and ate all of them . In a few hours later I felt drowsy and weak . I called my dad and told him what I did .My dad brought me to the hospital and the doctors checked my blood. Later, I was warded in the psychiatric ward. 

I made many friends there. Most of them are similar like me . At that time I felt that I was not alone. That there are people who is going through the same situation like me . The doctors there were really friendly and nice . They listened to my story tentatively. 

A week later I was discharged from the hospital . I still battle with my demons but now I know that I am not alone in this battle.